Dear Friend,

Dear Friend,

One more article from the same writer. May be of interest to some of you.
Regards
Naresh

Visit my blog for the other articles also.

http://nkssiimcal.blogspot.com/

Measuring Your Personal Growth

Measuring Your Personal Growth

Introduction

It was one of the Sundays and as usual, many thoughts were passing through my head and suddenly my thought process got stuck at one point and made me to think and re-think as how one can or how one should measure his or her personal growth?

1) Your success in exams is measured by the marks that you score (your percentile).
2) Your success in business is measured by revenues and profits that you earn.
3) The versatility of your business is measured by your expansion plans, both in terms of geographical expansion as well as venture into new industries.
4) Experience is usually measured in number of years.
5) Your height, your weight, your age…everything can be measured.

So, how can you measure your “Personal Growth”?

Things that you do

To understand and measure your personal growth, lets first list out and understand various activities that we do in our life. Once we understand that, it will help us in setting the measuring parameters and/or selecting the measurement scale. There is no second doubt in my mind that when we talk about “Growth”, it needs to be objective and not subjective. It should be measured.

As an individual, whatever you do, can easily be classified into two parts:
1) Professional
2) Private

As a child or a teenager we do certain things which either help us in our profession (give directions to our professional life) or make our private life, more satisfactory.
1) Professional Life: Basic Education, Professional Education, Salaries (Wealth), Promotions (Role, Power to take Decisions, Span of Control etc), Training and Development (Workshops and Seminars), your popularity (and demand) and Professional Network.

2) Private Life: Relations with family (Parents, Siblings, Relatives) and friends, Marriage (Success, Happiness and longevity of your married life), House and other comforts, Health, Children (Birth, Growth, Grooming and Values of your children), Love, Care and SATISFACTION.

(Note: Care has been taken to include everything that an individual should have or like to have in this life. However, this list is inclusive and not exclusive.)



Let’s Analyze and Measure

Well, the “Professional Front” of your life can be measured by following factors:

1) Number of professional degrees that you have.
2) Institutes that you have studied in (To study in good institutes, you should not only be intelligent and knowledgeable but should also have enough money to take care of expenses of your studies).
3) In Case, you are a salaried employee then what is your salary and how much increments you get every year. In case, you have your own business, then your profits and wealth.
4) The Position and Designation that you hold. In short, it is your ability to take and influence decisions that matters.
5) Your demand and popularity in your profession and industry, is another criteria to measure “Professional Front” of your life.

All these factors are part of your “Personal Growth” and all are measurable.

Now, let’s calculate your “growth” in “Private Life”. It is not possible to be successful at “Professional Front” without “sacrificing” and making adjustments in your “Private Life”. However, what you have sacrificed and how you have set the balance in relations determines and measures your success in “Private Front”.

Following are the factors that can be measured and calculated:

1) Longevity and happiness of your married life
2) Amount you spent on your medicines
3) Value-system, education and success of your children (Believe it or not, but if your children are good citizens of your country; if they are doing well in academics; if they are successful in life…that reflects in your success).
4) It is not possible to keep everyone happy, one need to identify (in fact, choose) people that they want to keep happy and then go all out to ensure their happiness. Hence, your success is measured on the choices that you make your judgment and setting priorities.

Though, there can be a slight difference, but all these factors can be measured and evaluated. As I said earlier, to measure your growth, you need to have a base. Measuring growth, starts from past and ends with present. Your dreams and goals, starts from your present and ends, somewhere in your future.


Discussion Table - Brainstorming

I asked several people from different countries, age groups and of both genders as what do they actually understand by “Personal Growth” and how, they think that one should measure the personal growth. Due to space constraint, it is not possible for me to include all responses, but instead, I have taken a sample size.


According to Marc Aniballi (Managing Director, Crack Method, Canada), your criteria to measure your personal growth changes with time and entirely based on the phase of life, you are passing through. A baby measures their growth in inches; A youth measures their growth by their peers; A young person measures their growth against their parents; An adult measures their growth against the world around them; A mature adult measures their growth against themselves; An elder measures their growth against ideals;

Maria Sheila Riikonen (Business Intelligence Consultants, Finland), gave a philosophical touch to her answer and said that the path to personal and professional success is seldom smooth sailing, so it's important to have a strong sense of self wherever the road leads you. I always like to recall my favorite mantra from American Poet Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882) : “To laugh often and much, To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition, To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”

In the words of Mukund Toro (Director Engineering, Sasken, Bangalore, India), one cannot generalize parameters to measure personal growth and it all varies and differs from person to person and to an large extent, depends on the background of an individual. He said, “I find it difficult to answer your question. I think it depends upon the individual; Depends on his or her needs, aspirations, obligations and duties. I guess it depends upon what is central to your life. You could look at Steven Covey's habit two (2) regarding what are the various centers of life. I have found myself struggling between various ways of defining success. Sometimes it is career, sometimes finances, sometimes doing something for others etc. To quote (not verbatim) Dr. E S Srinivas of XLRI, some questions may never have clear answers. What is important is to raise these questions.”

Dinky (Denise) Durso (Business Development, Manager, Alliant Credit Union, Greater Chicago Area), is also of the similar opinion and says that the criteria to measure personal growth, varies from individual to individual and is largely influced by the personal convictions, ideology and principles. He says, “While I can appreciate the basis for your question, I have difficulty aligning my beliefs and values within the confines of your question and answer terms. Growth and success does not have to be measured, even within the terms you put forward; years, total revenue or total wealth (income) during the year. Rather growth and success have more to do with immeasurable personal wealth - (ideals, convictions, ethics) and personal successes, such as independence, work/life balance, personal growth, and income (which is measurable from one year to another - but not true measure within ones experiences.) I measure my growth with how engaged I am, how much support I receive from my manager/director, how successful I am within my business and personal relationships and goals, how much balance I have between my business and personal lives and how many relationships I have within all aspects of my life. I am sure I am missing something important within this answer; but the main point is ~ money or your bank accounts cannot measure your growth, satisfaction or success only your feelings, relationships and heart can measure your personal success.”

Jay Sison (General Manager, 1 & 1 Internet, Philippines) is of the opinion that in order to measure your “personal growth” one must clearly define his goals along with a time frame to achieve those goals. The views are expressed in the following manner, “The beauty of this question is that only the person alone can answer it and he/she can set the baseline and timeline. One just has to outline the desired goal that can be quantified objectively and subjectively. Once defined, then you can set out the timeline by which you want to accomplish and how aggressive one would like to accomplish. I would recommend short, medium and long term. So measurement is all up to the person's standards. The keyword in your question is "personal". "Growth" and "success" is relative to the person”.

In the words of Gary Sieling (Software Engineer at Thomson West, Rochester, New York Area), growth measurement differs from time-to-time and also based on the phases in life. A person is a complex entity and there are so many things (activities) that are involved in his life. One cannot measure those entire things with one measure scale. To measure everything, that is involved in an individual’s life, one need to use different scales. The thoughts are expressed as, “What I consider growth changes over time. Sometimes there are new things I want to learn or do, but sometimes you your perspectives totally change, e.g. after having a health crisis. You can set up metrics for those things - just not numeric measurements like you want. E.g. if you want to grow a relationship, you can say "I keep up with them at least once a quarter on average" or "I'd like to have a friend who I can talk to about personal issues." Those are just goals, and as long as you are achieving goals you are growing. Be careful about using a single measurement- tracking your progress over time is generally informative, but if you use it as a decision-making tool, there are unintended consequences (e.g. sacrificing health or happiness for more income). Unhappiness and lack of freedom are indicators of needed growth”.

However, Bjorn Martinoff (Managing Consultant USA/Global at IL International human Capital Solutions, California), wants to make a clarification and says that there is a difference between growth and satisfaction of doing something. He continues, “Many people confuse/collapse growth with success or growth and the results of growth meaning income or reaching goals. Never, ever confuse these two as they are so different. I can reach goals without personal growth, i.e. I could win the lottery, however no growth is needed for this or I could run into an inheritance, not much luck needed there either. So Money can be excluded as a reliable measure of growth. Money however is often, not always, a result of growth. To me the measures of growth and success are the level of freedom and happiness I experience in my life”.


Conclusion

Everything that can be measured can also be managed. Based on what you want to measure, there are different scales of measurement. Your Bank Balance (Your Assets and Wealth), Time, Education Level, Future and success of your children, your position in the society and the way people perceive you (respect and admiration) that you have earned…these are some of the scales and criteria’s to measure your growth in “Personal” life.

If you want to “manage your life”; you should also know how to measure it.

Keep learning. Keep Growing. Keep smiling.

Do share your views.

With Love
Sanjeev Himachali
(BLOG: http://sanjeevhimachali.blogspot.com/ and http://sanjeevhimachali.multiply.com/)
(Email: sanjeev.himachali@gmail.com and ss_himachali@yahoo.com)

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Your Professional Growth and Types of Blocks in Career Path

Your Professional Growth and Types of Blocks in Career Path

Introduction

Though I belong to northern part of India but in my professional life, for maximum number of years I have worked in southern and western parts of the country. It is only now, since 2005 that I shifted my base to northern India. Sometimes, people ask me the difference that I noticed in terms of work-culture, workplace environment and practices in northern and other parts of the country, during my professional journey. Usually my reply to those queries is: “People in western and southern parts of India compete for success and growth. They have constructive and positive approach. They value their and other’s time. Where as, in northern parts of India, people love to grow at the cost of others…by harming others. They have political mindset. They have destructive mindsets.

In western and southern India, the attitude is, “Lets grow together. You don’t harm me and I will not harm you; you have your own strengths and I have mine, we will grow together”. But in other part of the country, people want to be in lime-light. The philosophy is, “Only, I will grow. You, either perish or live in my shadow”.” This is the general attitude, perception and behavior of people. However, exceptions are always there.

Growing together – The Importance of Team Work

How good are you, when it comes to team-work? Do you understand the importance and synergy of team-work? To my knowledge, “We Indians” are very bad players of team-work. Each member of the team wants to hog the lime-light, wants to take the credit for the “Success” of the team and “Love to Blame” his team-member for the failure of his team. Be it any team; as small as a team of two members or as big as a team of fifteen members, we have always failed as a team. Hard to digest but this is a fact. Some of the factors our failures as a team are:

1) Personal Ego (Larger than life ego)
2) Its only “me” and no one else
3) Lack of knowledge (Subject Matter Expertise), Confidence and Self-Belief gives rise to self-doubt and “insecurity”.
4) They love to “Demand Respect” rather than earning respect.

When you have ego, arrogance and insecurity, you tend to block others’ success. You tend to harm them. You tend to play “Political Games” with your own team-members.

Team-work in Corporate World

Now, let me narrow my write-up to “Team-work in Corporate World” and “Team-work within a department”. You cannot do all the work that is expected from you and hence, there is a need of a team. “Delegating your Work”; Outsourcing; Vendor Management is nothing but steps towards “Team Work”. We talk about man-hours and man-hands. For example, I as an individual is capable of doing X work in seven days but along with my team of three people, I should be able to complete the task in three days.

But it’s not me who has done that work in three days; it’s my TEAM. Many times, knowingly or unknowingly we harm our own team. In the process of showing others “my control over my team”, people hurt the team, insult the team and thereby affect the morale and sprit of the team. There is a saying, “Don’t kill the hen laying golden eggs”; but some people divide the team because they feel insecure. They divide the team. They back-stab their own team members; they gossip about one member to another and they insult their team-members in front of others. They do all this because, they don’t have subject matter expertise, and they are not sure about their position. They don’t have self-confidence and self-belief. They feel that the only way that they can survive is by using the old tactic of British India, “Divide and Rule”. Just like the British rulers of that time, these team-leaders and team-managers are aware that “if I let these people unite, I will not be able to survive. A very bad tactic, isn’t it??

Role of Team-Leader / Team Manager

There is a saying in Hindi, “Yatha Raja, Tatha Praja” (As the king, so the people). Hence, the Team-Leader or a Team Manager have very important role to play in “Team Development and Management”. As is understood that to be a Team-Leader or a Team Manager one should have at least one person to supervise and manage. Team Leader should have confidence in his own abilities, knowledge and skills. If he does not have enough confidence in himself, I will doubt his abilities and skills to boost the confidence and morale of his team. To be honest and fair and based on my personal experiences, I do feel that 90% of managers have sense of insecurity from their subordinate. They feel that their subordinates will grow faster. They feel that their position is not secured. They have very low Emotional Quotient. Hence they try “to block” block the pace of growth of their juniors / subordinates. Here are some blocks that Managers / Team Leaders put on the way of their subordinates growth:

Dam – When you construct a dam on a river, it does not stop the growth of the river; rather it generates electricity, helps farmers in irrigation and control floods. Similar is the role of this block in your profession. He guides you. He mentors you. He grooms you. He sharpens your skill. He helps you to grow. He is a catalyst. He knows that he is big enough for you to harm him in any manner. It’s like an executive reporting to a President. This is a positive hurdle.

Hurdle on the road (Rock, big & heavy stone) – Imagine a situation when you are traveling to some place and happen to face this hurdle on the road. What will you do? Either you will remove the hurdle or you will just pass by its side. Another example that I have is roundabouts in Chandigarh. You can not drive over them but need to drive around them to move on other side of the road. In a similar manner, there are blocks in your professional life and you can grow only by ignoring and avoiding them. They feel that they have put, big enough hurdle on the path of your career to slow-down you and/or stop you. It might take some time to over come this hurdle but this is not permanent. This is arrogant / egoistic but temporary hurdle.

Wall under-construction – This is a positive hurdle that you can face in your life. As you grow, the other also grows. He is intelligent and knowledgeable. He is willing to learn all the time. He is a person with high-self esteem. He has high expectations from himself and also from people around him. He is not afraid by the growth of his subordinates. He does not harm the growth of his subordinates. He does not sabotage their growth. The more his subordinate grows, the higher he increases his own level and his competencies.

Closed Door – This is a negative block. Whatever you do, you will face rejection. Things will just bounce on you. This person is afraid of your success and pace of your growth. When in open and competitive market, he feels insecure. He feels comfortable and secured when he is in closed room and that is why he keep the doors closed. If you want to grow in the presence of such superior / boss, you should either be pleading him or buttering him (making him comfortable) or requesting him or you should wait for the right opportunity. (You should look for the ventilator to enter in).

Conclusion

If you want to draw a line, longer than the one which is already drawn, the best way and constructive way to do that is to draw a new line, parallel to existing line and longer than that. Same way, the best way to grow in professional life is to always keep yourself updated with the latest in your domain; to sharpen your skills; to have dreams and to have confidence in yourself. You cannot grow by suppressing someone lower to you. Even if you manage to grow in this fashion, you will not be able to sustain that growth. Be honest to yourself and to your team-members. Don’t lie to them. Share the credit. Most importantly, “Learn to Work in a Team”. Talent Acquisition is Important but Talent Management is Equally Important.

Gone are the days when people use to “butter” their bosses and use to say, “YES Sir” for every order / instruction of their bosses. This is the era of competition. You want to grow then come compete with people.

That’s an end of the write-up. Do share your views and comments.

With Love
Sanjeev Himachali

Dear Friends,

This article I found on the net and I liked it. Please read it on the blog. Link is as given below:

http://nkssiimcal.blogspot.com/

First Impression is not the Last Impression - Changing your First Impression

First Impression is not the Last Impression - Changing your First Impression

Introduction

Earlier, they use to say that “Your First Impression is the last impression” and now, they say that “your first impression is not the last impression but long-lasting impression. Hence, there is a scope to rectify your “first impression” and at times there is also a need to do so. There are times when we think that we have made a mistake…we should not have carried ourselves the way we did and then we look forward to one chance to correct our “first impression”.

In this article, we will be discussing about this and other related issues such as things you should do or should not do to make a “Perfect” first impression; what will you do to change your first impression and will you give one more chance to someone to rectify his / her first impression.

Understanding the term – “First Impression” (FI)

Before talking about “First Impression” (FI), lets discuss, what is “impression” to start with. Though, your looks and appearance is a part of your impression but that is not the only thing, which matters. Your impression means your overall personality and it consists of:

1) The Way you carry yourself
2) Your Dress-up
3) The way you express yourself
4) Your Mannerism
5) Your Behavior
6) Your Communication
7) The way you treat the other person

These all are the traits which consist of impression and thereby are related to your FI.

For an impression to be called as FI, this must be your first meeting with that person. FI can be of two types – Planned and Unplanned. It is planned, when you are aware of it. For example,

1) Your job - interview,
2) Business meeting with client,
3) Dating,
4) You are invited as a guest

FI can be planned, when you are not prepared for it. For example, people looking at you when you are walking down the street; when you are traveling; when you are just passing through a place, you are at a place where people around you hardly matters to you etc.

This first impression process occurs in every new situation. Within the first few seconds, people pass judgment on you – looking for common surface clues. Once the first impression is made, it is virtually irreversible.

The process works like this:

If you appear to be of comparable business or social level, you are considered suitable for further interaction.
If you appear to be of higher business or social status, you are admired and cultivated as a valuable contact.
If you appear to be of lower business or social standing, you are tolerated but kept at arm's length.
If you are in an interview situation, you can either appear to match the corporate culture or not, ultimately affecting the outcome.

For the purpose of this article, we will be concentrating on Planned FI because people making an impression about you, when you are walking down the street, hardly matters to anyone.

Changing your FI

Now, let’s discuss about this. Suppose you are at the receiving end, you met a person and he made certain opinion about you, it can be about your behavior or the way you carry yourself. Or he has read about you or has heard about you and based on that there was already some notion in his mind. You know that you are not what the other person is thinking or assuming about you. Will you make an attempt to correct that impression or assumption?

I asked this question in some of my training programs. I have asked this question to 748 people. I also discussed this with some of my friends. Around 67% of them said, “NO”. They will not make any attempt to change FI. They said that it hardly matter to us. Let anyone carry any impression that they want to carry. 26% said that once they know, what type of impression the other person is carrying, they might make an attempt to change that impression. 7% respondents remain neutral.

Some of the responses are:



Ajay Prasad (Manager with Global Payments – HSBC): I would definitely not like to influence what the other person perceives me as. Because impression is two communications - one, what I show to others (need to find out what kind of mask we are wearing in front of others and second what kind of mindset or presumption the other person has). If you are a nice human being, you should let the show be a real and original. Masking ourselves and handling situation is always easy but to be real and then facing others is a bit difficult job.

Sheilah Etheridge(Owner, SME Management: Management and Accounting Consultant): I see no point in trying to change the first impression or the opinion formed as a result of that impression. People will believe what they want to believe. I will continue to be who I am and they will either maintain that opinion or they won't. That is their choice.

Mudassir Ehsan (Business Development Manager at Frost & Sullivan): If I feel, for whatever reason, Mr. X has got an incorrect impression about me, I would not take any immediate steps to rectify that impression....here is what I would think:
A) Why is that I gave a wrong impression about myself to anyone....now that someone has got a wrong impression...that means, I am capable of giving wrong ideas about myself to others? I would firstly work on that...find out why I did whatever happened.

B) As far as rectifying the impression is concerned, well...this certainly depends on who has got a wrong impression about me...is he/she an influential person...do I foresee any kind of opportunities with that person in the future ? Now then...some may argue that anyone in this world is important as they could provide you opportunities...don't shut the doors on anyone....Agreed...but these people are also like opportunities...I take some and leave some.... So my answer is that I will only try rectifying my image to people of immense importance mainly ! The rest would come to know the real-me automatically....in due course of time. How am I going to rectify my image...well if this person is of so much importance...I might create a situation to interact more with that person and give myself a chance to quickly portray my correct image.

Gerald Lo (Project Manager at Watson Pharmaceuticals):”An inaccurate first impression is, I think, nearly inevitable. Once people get to know me, I believe their impressions and opinions change. It is not something I feel I can change through effort; I believe that respect must be earned over time by action and attitude, not words. I try to conduct myself with some reserve during my first introductions to others, and presume that others may do the same. As a result, I try to condition my expectations regarding those first impressions, as they may sometimes be illusory. I also do not depend on someone new giving me the benefit of the doubt from our first meeting. Through coincidence, someone new to us may resemble someone from our pasts. A mannerism or physical likeness might remind us of somebody else altogether. It is human nature, I think, for our brains to associate the new person with that old impression of another one altogether. What might help distinguish us from certain animals may be our ability to reason and try to overcome our more primitive instincts of association. The circumstances might extenuate an individual's behavior on the occasion of the meeting. I find I am much more receptive to appreciating someone's company and character when we are not meeting under the conditions of an emergency. I think making an effort to present a respectful and respectable external demeanor is generally a good practice, whether being introduced to a new acquaintance, undergoing an interview, having dinner, or encountering a poisonous reptile. One doesn't need to love it, but it certainly demands respect, in my opinion”.

In my views, I think we are taking things a bit too lightly. It is true that, with so many people around us, it hardly matters what people think about you but if we take it in a positive manner, people will not remember who you are; they will not remember how you look like, but they will always remember how you made them feel like; how you treated them; how you behaved with them. I think it is very important to have a good impression. That is how people will remember you. Hence, though there is a very little possibility that you get “another chance” to rectify your impression but if you get, make a best use of it.

Giving a Chance to Someone to Improve the First Impression

Let’s be fair on this. We all know that your first impression might not be the impression that you want to create. Just, only in this article we also proved that. I asked one more question in my training programs. I have asked this question to 748 people. I also discussed this with some of my friends. We discussed the scenarios that suppose you are the person who is judging another person. You met a person and made certain opinion about him or her. Your assumptions about the person might not be correct. So, will you give that person another chance to rectify that “first-impression”? How easy or difficult will it be for you to change your first impression about that person? Around 34% respondents said that for them the first impression is the final impression and they will go by their gut feeling. 59% respondents said that they will give as many chances as possible to that person to rectify his / her FI. 7% respondents were neutral.
Some of the responses are as follows:

Around 63% of them said, “NO”. They will not make any attempt to change FI. They said that it hardly matter to us. Let anyone carry any impression that they want to carry. 21% said that once they know, what type of impression the other person is carrying, they might make an attempt to change that impression.

Jim Lenahan (Owner, Data Basics International, Inc. / WebSecretaries.com): I give people plenty of opportunities to prove my first impression right or wrong. Like I said, I'm wiring sometimes -- especially when reaching a conclusion on a paucity of data. It is thus easy for me to change my opinion (not my first impression -- that remains locked in history) due to my large amounts of practice.

Mayank Bhargava (Analyst at Infiniti Research): My personal experience says that people should be given more than one chance to be judged. I don’t say that you might find a gem of a person; however there are certain genuine cases who deserve 2nd chance. On the other hand there are some very smart people who never reveal themselves in the first meeting. In such a case one quick decision can jeopardize our situation.

Steve Aditya (Account Manager at IMS Health): I personally believe in second chances and I don't judge people by first impression basis. I don't believe in making the right assumption (judge) people that way.

Ajay Prasad (Manager with Global Payments – HSBC): This purely depends on the purpose of interaction. If there is a pre-defined purpose, then I would also be very clear of what I want out of the other person. During interaction I would definitely judge the person against the parameters set by me. But in case I do not find some of those required parameters in him/her, I would rather share those with him/her. As I mentioned earlier perception is a two-way communication, and it does depend on how communicative the other person is. There might be instance where the person has some attributes but does not show in his behavior. In those cases, we are at risk of loosing the right person (only because of perception).

Sheilah Etheridge (Owner, SME Management: Management and Accounting Consultant): I am fairly on target on the opinion I have of people. I have been proven wrong a couple of times but it is not often. I generally give people the benefit of the doubt and keep an open mind before really forming an opinion. But there are times that I will get an instant dislike for someone (they don't even need to speak). If that happens and I am not sure why I feel that way and nothing has happened to cause me to dislike them there is generally a valid reason I just haven't found yet. To date, I have never instantly disliked someone and then later found I was wrong.

Mudassir Ehsan (Business Development Manager at Frost & Sullivan) : Regarding myself giving others a chance.....well I will always give others a chance to build his correct impression on me. Coz, it is possible that the concerned person was right and my judgement was wrong....hence, I would never shut the doors on assessing anyone until we have interacted enough to know each other.

Kajal (Assistant Branch Manager at Citizens Bank): Yes, I would give more than one chance for a person to change their first impression. It depends on the situation......if you are interviewing someone and he showed up late.....I will first find out what happened and see how well everything else goes. And then, you can decide. Sometimes, you just get this "feel" for a person and I think no matter what that person does it is difficult to change your impression and I think that most of the times this” feel" is almost the right impression of the person.

Lucy Garrick (Principle Consultant at NorthShore Group): “Changing first impressions difficult for anyone. This is because our impressions are a result of a lifetime of memory and inferred meaning processed by the brain in less than a nanosecond. The question is perhaps not how to change first impressions, but how to change the meaning of 1st impressions.
Change begins with noticing that you have a 1st impression, then letting go of the story and judgments about those impressions to be curious and open to other possible conclusions. Another important question is "what is the impact of your first impressions or assumptions about another?

A simple skill to practice and remember is "Say Why, Ask Why" When you interact with another, tell them the motivation for your interaction. When their response is puzzling to you, test your assumptions about why they are responding as they are. Curiosity will open the door to better relationships and more effective interactions”.

As some people expressed above that though they will be giving chances and opportunities to other people to rectify their first-impression but at the same time they also agreed that with this the other person will only be able to change the opinion and the first-impression will remain unchanged and locked in the memory. Hence, it is very important to go that extra mile and make a knock-out first impression.

Factors one should consider while making first impression

Basic principles to make the BEST “First Impression”

A. A Winning Smile: “Smile and the world smiles too.” So there’s nothing like a smile to create a good first impression. A warm and confident smile will put both you and the other person at ease. So smiling is a winner when it comes to great first impressions. But don't go overboard with this - people who take this too far can seem insincere and smarmy, or can be seen to be "lightweights".

B. A Word about Individuality: The good news is you can usually create a good impression without total conformity or losing your individuality. Yes, to make a good first impression you do need to “fit in” to some degree. But it all goes back to being appropriate for the situation. If in a business setting, wear appropriate business attire. If at a formal evening social event, wear appropriate evening attire. And express your individuality appropriately within that context.

C. Be on Time: The person you are meeting for the first time is not interested in your “good excuse” for running late. Plan to arrive a few minutes early. And allow flexibility for possible delays in traffic or taking a wrong turn. Arriving early is much better that arriving late, hands down, and is the first step in creating a great first impression.

D. Be Yourself, Be at Ease: If you are feeling uncomfortable and on edge, this can make the other person ill at ease and that’s a sure way to create the wrong impression. If you are calm and confident, so the other person will feel more at ease, and so have a solid foundation for making that first impression a good one.

E. Be Open and Confident: When it comes to making the first impression, body language as well as appearance speaks much louder than words. Use your body language to project appropriate confidence and self-assurance. Stand tall, smile (of course), make eye contact, greet with a firm handshake. All of this will help you project confidence and encourage both you and the other person feel better at ease.

Almost everyone gets a little nervous when meeting someone for the first time, which can lead to nervous habits or sweaty palms. By being aware of your nervous habits, you can try to keep them in check. And controlling a nervous jitter or a nervous laugh will give you confidence and help the other person feel at ease.

F. Be Positive: Your attitude shows through in everything you do. Project a positive attitude, even in the face of criticism or in the case of nervousness. Strive to learn from your meeting and to contribute appropriately, maintaining an upbeat manner and a smile.

G. Be Courteous and Attentive: It goes without saying that good manners and polite, attentive and courteous behavior help make a good first impression. In fact, anything less can ruin the one chance you have at making that first impression. So be on your best behavior. One modern manner worth mentioning is “turn off your mobile phone”. What first impression will you create if you are already speaking to someone other than the person you are meeting for the first time? Your new acquaintance deserves 100% of your attention. Anything less and you’ll create a less than good first impression.

H. Present Yourself Appropriately: Of course physical appearance matters. The person you are meeting for the first time does not know you and your appearance is usually the first clue he or she has to go on. But it certainly does not mean you need to look like a model to create a strong and positive first impression. The key to a good impression is to present yourself appropriately.

Start with the way you dress. What is the appropriate dress for the meeting or occasion? For business and social meetings, appropriate dress also varies between countries and cultures, so it’s something that you should pay particular attention to when in an unfamiliar setting or country. Make sure you know the traditions and norms.

Appropriate dressing and grooming help make a good first impression and also help you feel “the part”, and so feel more calm and confident. Add all of this up and you are well on your way to creating a good first impression.

I. Small Talk Goes a Long Way…: Conversations are based on verbal give and take. It may help you to prepare questions you have for the person you are meeting for the first time beforehand. Or, take a few minutes to learn something about the person you meet for the first time before you get together. For instance, does he play golf? Does she work with a local charitable foundation? Is there anything that you know of that you have in common with the person you are meeting? If so, this can be a great way to open the conversation and to keep it flowing.

Conclusion

There is no doubt that your first impression is very important and most of the time you get only one chance to make that knocking impact. It is also true that usually you do not get another chance to rectify your first impression. However, if you are lucky enough to get another chance, hold that with both hands and make an everlasting impact. Here, there are two types of people…people at your workplace, people in your family and those with whom you meet occasionally, once in a year or so…one should take care of that.

At the end, I only like to say, that it is very important to know the type of person you are going to meet and what type of future you are looking forward, involving that person in your life; so based on that…one should be prepared. This is life and in life, there is no retakes…only one shot.

Looking forward to your comments and feedback
With Love

Sanjeev Himachali

References

Managing First Impressions at Interviews - David Jensen
2. Making a Great First Impression! - Mind tools
3. Do You Make Your First Impression Your Best Impression? – Michelle Sterling, Global Image Group

Acknowledgement
I like to say a big and very special thanks to all the below listed people for sharing their views and thoughts. They are:
Lucy Garrick (Principle Consultant at NorthShore Group
Kajal (Assistant Branch Manager at Citizens Bank)
Mudassir Ehsan(Business Development Manager at Frost & Sullivan
Sheilah Etheridge (Owner, SME Management: Management and Accounting Consultant)
Ajay Prasad (Manager with Global Payments – HSBC)
Steve Aditya (Account Manager at IMS Health)
Mayank Bhargava (Analyst at Infiniti Research)
Jim Lenahan (Owner, Data Basics International, Inc. / WebSecretaries.com)
Gerald Lo (Project Manager at Watson Pharmaceuticals)